Okay, before I get enmeshed (hardy har) in an differences in personality issue, I would not presume the groveling approach is suited to an M or F who is fully self-actualized, strong (despite being codependent), and who hates when his/her SO is overly emotional and who can look at the cheater and be fine with his/her own decision of either staying or walking.
Sooo, to pull this back around to the thread. From his actions, Heather's H SEEMS to be very 'not emotionally strong,' insecure and angry. I don't know you from Eve, LFL, but somehow I get the feeling you wouldn't hold your H's A over his head via not wearing your ring, keeping him out of your bed, and throwing tantrums and the like for 2 whole years.
And your point on subsequent actions follow-through is well taken. There is no such thing as an truly remorseful verbal etc. response without a long period of proof in the pudding to follow.
Honeypot. Oh, Honeypot; yet another alpha F. Sigh.
I agree with LFL. I would not want to see a crying wreck of a man. Most women wouldn't. I think you are confusing the fact that women want to see emotional from men, as meaning they want to see men emotionAL.
Women do NOT want to see men acting like women! It turns us off and goes against the laws of nature.
- I think for an strong F this is true in the event the M has an tendency to be overly emotional; otherwise I guess after I uncovered the A I transformed into an woman.
<Stigmata hangs head in shame>
"Does that skirt come in extra tall?"
I'll put it this way. Of the 15 years x had known me as friend or lover I have displayed this kind of emotion (ie, tears and crying) exactly once. And I've had various parts of my body laid open and stiched back up and bones smashed and reset without as much as an tear shed. Couldn't account for the feelings of an exploded heart. I'm pretty sure when x saw these "abnormal" streams of water coming from my eyes she realized the impact it had on me.
Thankfully I wasn't an cheater. But I can imagine likewise. If I had done something so stupid as to lose her forever via cheating then I feel she would have known deep in her heart that my shocking vulnerability groveling display pretty much signified the depth of my remorse, since it would be an unusual display of emotion.
If I were just to channel my earnestly saying I'm sorry, it will never happen again so why don't we just start from scratch robotic self without any show of distraught emotion I wouldn't be surprised if she questioned the depth of my remorse. Heck, I would have to even question my own feelings for her at that point if I could maintain such an strong even composure.
I'll use this example. IRL I rarely ever can be heard to curse out another person. It is intentional on my part. All you have to do is listen to, say, an rapper being interviewed. Drops F-bombs every other word like it's nothing and numbs the listener to them eventually.
Why I do this. Well, first I don't like being unnecessarily crass in public; second, when I choose to use them it sends an message.
When I unload an F-bomb on someone who knows me pretty well IRL they instantly know beyond an shadow of an doubt that my line has just been crossed and they'd better duck and cover his/her a$$ for the impending flash and mushroom cloud :
-Stigmata- (50 megaton mushroom-cloud layin' MFer, Mfer!) (for all of you Pulp Fiction fans)
The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is the warrior views everything as a challenge; the ordinary man views everything as either a blessing or a curse.
-Yaqui shaman Don Juan-
...and that holds 2x true for nice guy wussies, DJ
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