Am I Creating a SSM Part II

[Burgbud]

I've almost filled Heather's thread with enough discourses not aimed directly at her so I'll stop after just one more. Really. I mean it this time.


You're completely mistaken if any of us here think that doing this or that will produce a predictable response in our partner.

Excellent. There have been times I have wondered so I'm glad for the reassurance.

Counseling is not some punishment that you submit to as a penance. It's not like being sent to the principal's office where you will get your knuckles rapped. Holy moley, is that what people think in the other forums?

I think you kind of went off into the weeds on that one. Why was the counselling different from any of the other things I said she didn't owe him? Why the shot at people in other forums? If you're as wise as some credit you with being I know you aren't prone to generalizing the thoughts of everybody else in every other forum based on a post or two from *me*.

To keep her dangling for two years is insane... but if you read Stig and cobra, you'll get some insight into why he is prolonging this insanity.

Okay, this is exactly the kind of thing that scares me. When I read Stig and Cobra I get insight into why they think he's prolonging this insanity. They haven't talked to him, met him, or even seen him (nor have I). It seems a bit presumptuous to be certain they understand his motivations. That's a "one size fits all", "if it worked for me it'll work for you" mentality. But as long as they have useful theories and problem solving approaches, their input is more valuable than mine, so keep it coming. Please.

In fact, your litany about how heather doesn't "owe" her H anything-- where in the heck does THAT come from?

I could explain where that comes from but as much as I enjoy flogging a dead pony, I won't. I agree with your bottom line that it's about what works.