Quote: How many posts have you read where LBSs immediately declare their changes despite a lifetime of habit contrary to those changes?
Ah, back a scant few days and already managed to help me by accident, lol.
I stand up and raise my hand. I am one of those people, or rather, folks around here seem to think I am. I made dramatic, immediate changes when faced with my sitch and believed they were real, only now to realize that while some were, others will need a bit more work to become permanent. I love the bit about the unconscious "picking up" the WAS does. I think that's what a lot of people fail to realize, that it's not an overt response to overt actions that usually signals the real changes, it's the subtle changes that occur in each of us that both trigger and signify the meaningful, lasting changes.
Quote: There's also the much overlooked fact that it's NOT just changes in the LBS that may re-attract the WAS, it's the change in CIRCUMSTANCES that really does it.
True. That is why I believe so much in time's role in most of these sitches. It's not that you have to sit by and wait, but knowing that circumstances WILL change, they always do, helps you keep hope in terms of the R and if you continue on your personal path of growth, circumstances may become such that opportunity will be there for reconciliation.
Quote: The OP/new relationship can really be a diversion from working on one's self, since not much self-work is needed to make infatuation or a panacea work.
Amen. That's why when the WAS finally returns, often they are far behind the WAS in terms of emotional development and self awareness.
Thanks again for the return to chaos. Your voice is a welcome one.