Need advice for this new stage

[cat03]

please read my first post on this board "H back, feel so unloved"

For the longest time I was consumed with images about my H's EA with FF, about the outings and the mass amount of $$ my H spent on her, would think about it until I got sick. Still struggling with that past and how in the devil he got himself, well, not us, into 10k debt.

You know what good we get out of thinking about the past and OP? NOTHING, well, one thing, we become bitter and resentful and bring back our progress one step back each time. I totally understand you, it is really hard to just not think about it, but when those thoughts assalt you, think about what you want to do NOW, I have to repeat to myself "love is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Do not ask any more detail about the EA anymore, let sleeping dogs lie. I also thought about little details to death, and I also learned about the EA when it was just over. Yes, they went out with them, thought about them a lot, devoted time and $$ because they wanted to compensate for their own unfullfillment, not because our H's loved them, but because they wanted to feel like something was going right for them when they felt their own M's werent' working. It wasnt' about the OP, it was about their own void they thought they were filling, but in the end the truth came out,our H's are with us now, they CHOOSE us, remember that.

I can see this is fresh in your mind, I assure you you will get over this, it will become a faded memory. Devote your time and thoughts to how you can make your marriage better now, each time you have negative thoughts counteract them by how you can become closer to him, feed the good thoughts.