I'm so excited to be in Piecing! I've been in Newcomers since Feb '05, and throughout this past year I almost moved into several different forums - depending on where things were at. Well, I'm glad that my story has a happy ending - or, at least, I'm in a much happier place than where I was a year ago.
I'm not sure if I should post my whole story or if many of you already know me. My H had an EA for about a year, during which time we were separated. We just got back together in January and are now living together again. Things are going very well - on the outside. He seems extremely happy to be together and totally in love with me. He just wants to put everything in the past. I, however, am just starting to deal with the anger and hurt and seem to waver between being happy and in love and almost hating him! Is this normal? I really think it would be helpful for us to get some counselling, but H is set against it, saying that it only causes more harm than good, and that we can sort things out ourselves. He keeps reassuring me that he loves me deeply, is committed to me for the rest of our lives, and that time will heal my pain. When I'm with him, I agree and feel confident in our R, but when we're apart during the day, I immediately start to feel insecure and angry. Any advice on how to work through this?
Also, the OW is actually moving away next week (woohoo!!) and won't be at H's work anymore, but there are still reminders for me of her and the whole negative experience of him leaving (I actually didn't even know about her until a few weeks before we got back together). It seems like everything - whether it's a neighbourhood, a restaurant, a song, his car (he drove her to work everyday) all remind me of what I went through. Will this pass? And what about the questions like who was he thinking about when we ML (we had S while we were separated). I know it might be silly to worry about such a thing, but I wonder. Or songs that he burned on CDs - was he thinking about her at the time?
For the most part, I've been very loving with H and have only brought these concerns up on a few occasions - but I worry that these constant negative feelings are going sabotage what is still a fragile M. Any advice any of you can give me would be so appreciated!!
