I'd skip the gift. If it takes so much thought to decide if one is appropriate, it probably isn't. Kind of like sex.
The reason it sounds like it matters to you so much, I'm guessing, is that gifts are your LL. I'm a gifts person myself. It isn't about materialism, it is about the genuine thoughtful caring, understanding, and insight into the other person that a good gifts demonstrates that is important. I'm sure it is as hard or harder for you NOT to give a gift than it is for you to refrain from saying ILY over and over again.
Anyway, at the very least, a gift from you is a sign of intimacy. Don't mistake that. And, you know that something silly and homemade is even moreso...
I'm writing really to respond to this question:
Since he knows I have no kids, knows his mom's BBQ plans - do I wait to see if he suggests anything? I doubt he will, though.
YES. By all means WAIT. Give him the space to figure out what he wants and ask for it. If you are right that he suggests nothing, that is all the more reason NOT to have inserted yourself into his plans.
I think he might surprise you, maybe not this time, but if you keep giving him space he might just figure out that HE would LIKE to make plans with you. As long as you keep doing this for him, he won't have any idea that is the case. What will stick in his mind is what a hassle it is to turn you down when he doesn't want to see you.
SO showed up (with lunch) - completely surprised me, I'm laughing because I was in another room and heard footsteps on the stairs - YIKES! Realized it was him - then a split second later realized I left my page (here) open on the computer. He opened the door....and as a stall tactic, lmao, I screamed! It was just so funny. Then I quickly got to the computer and shut it down. LOL Anyway, he saw me on here once before and I would rather just keep this to myself...
As for the gift, I'm inclined to go with OT on this one.
Quote: it is about the genuine thoughtful caring, understanding, and insight into the other person that a good gifts demonstrates that is important. I'm sure it is as hard or harder for you NOT to give a gift than it is for you to refrain from saying ILY over and over again. Anyway, at the very least, a gift from you is a sign of intimacy.
Is mind-reading another one of your many talents? This is me, I guess, without ever realizing it. I thought my LL's were QT and Physical Touch...I need to BUY that book (not just borrow it from the library). But you're so right - it IS much harder for me to NOT give a present than say ILY. Hmmm....that's startling to realize.
And, as for the weekend...another LOL. We were talking and it got to the subject of the weekend...he was talking about what we're going to do for another vehicle...it dawned on me he may need MY truck - so I asked - "You don't need my truck for anything this weekend do you? I have to take the girl's to your mom's this weekend." He said no, I'm probably going to Brother's on Saturday. Once again, my confusion got me and I thought something was wrong so I asked Why? He said "I just need to get out of here for a day or two and I'll have MF work for me Saturday night. I have to come back Sunday night because I have to be up early for the parade Monday morning." I said, "Oh, ok."
We were laying down for a nap at this time and - NO, I said nothing. I think he was expecting me to, but I didn't. yeah for me. You all may not think it was a biggie, but it was to me. OK - so it'll be interesting to see what happens next.
I think he was expecting me to, but I didn't. yeah for me. You all may not think it was a biggie, but it was to me. OK - so it'll be interesting to see what happens next.