OK....OT, here goes:

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Well, I went ahead and said something about what I heard on the air. He vehemently denies he went.

Hmmmm, what does "said something" mean exactly?

His reaction suggests you went on the attack a bit rather than talking about yourself and sincerely simply reporting your thoughts and feelings.


*I* didn't think so, yet, he took it as such - that is, that I was on the attack. Or perhaps, he thought that was the way I was going to be? And it surprised him that I didn't attack?

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Were anger and resentment preventing you from communicating in a direct, nonconfrontational manner? I expect that really focusing on your communication skills needs to be at the top of your list these days if you really want to wind up with any kind of healthy R with SO.



I agree - our communication skills are sorely lacking. I know it may not seem that I do anything different, but I can see how lately BOTH of us are trying harder. Trying not hurl accusations, trying not to blame, trying to listen better.

I really, really need help here. Trying to communicate in a healthier fashion. It's always been a big problem between us.

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Great news about him ending it with OW. Though, if this is the first time he has "ended it," expect a bit of ongoing communication between them along with confusion and drama.Also, as GH was touching on, try to lose a little bit of your confidence... You seem to be SO SURE of everything about SO. You really don't know what is going on in his life, his mind, or his heart. Try to really develop the beginner's mind and quit letting your entrenched expectations dictate what you see, how you react, and how things go.


With him not living here, I really have no idea what goes on. Although, I did suffer through this once or twice before while he was still living here...having said that, I feel very strongly that this time is different. I may be wrong, but it feels very, very different this time. Women's intuition? The same intuition I had when I *knew* about when it started? Perhaps. Although I know, both you, OT, and GH said not to think I *know* all about what goes on - I really don't. Even if it doesn't come across that way here. If anything, I was assuming things between them were idyllic.

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How is your hand???



Much better, thank you. The cut is healing properly. The swelling is gone...I think I really bruised the knuckle badly, however that's feeling better, too.