You are sounding good too, in general. Detached, moving forward....
I actually think you calling him on his crap is a good thing. One suggestion -- why not work on directness rather than controlling your facial expressions? It sounds like you are reaching a point where you can communicate directly without expectations rather than having to fake stuff so you aren't pursuing H. Directness is also a great way to avoid the need for sarcasm...
I'm a little confused by your acceptance of the one-night-a-week Dad. Is this something acceptable to you in an SO, H, or co-parent? This seems like a very unfair arrangement to me. Perhaps you should think about what a reasonable amount of participation as a parent from SO would be and ask for it. Either that, or forget getting a job and ask him to pay you as his nanny.
I suggest throwing out all your panties with holes and bras with blown underwires and getting some decent undergarments.
BTW, you don't really know what went wrong. You don't know why SO is so unhappy with his life. I tell you this because thinking you understand it all is a big mistake that you will want to avoid.
The more you do what you want to do and live in a way that works for you rather than trying to manipulate him and control his feelings and reactions, the better.
BTW, how is the sex outside of a monogomous committed R working for you? I hope it is OK, though I'm a little puzzled why you would choose to have casual sex with someone who is a source of emotional distress for you. And, no, I do not mean that sarcastically. If you have reached a point where you are happy with what you are getting without having expectations for more, then enjoy it. I just don't think it will really work for you very long.
A lunchtime fearF or comfortF is not likely to be good for you. If you simply wanted a nooner, that is different.
Just remember, you don't need to have sex to not abandon SO as you have done in the past. For one thing, you can simply tell him in a straightforward manner that you are done being one of the mares in the stable -- should he choose to pursue a different R with you, you are open to it, at least right now. But, he would have to respect your boundaries. For another thing, you have not abandoned and cannot abandon him in this case -- HE LEFT THE R.
Don't spin your wheels trying to fix mistakes in the past. You can't change them.
