I've asked myself this countless times over the past several months....I found myself vacillating between complete (at least, imagined) detachment and trying new techniques to develop closeness with my W. Look at it from this perspective however, if you think its confusing to you....you gotta wonder what it looks like to them?
In any event, I don't think what you are thinking, feeling, experiencing is any way abnormal. I guess the plan is to get to a stage where you feel comfortable with your plan and stick with it.
I wish I had more specific advice, but rest assured that you are not alone here, lol.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
