Yes, being in control of myself has allowed me to be
GH, I like your post, with one exception - I do not believe that OW has any idea what goes on with SO & I. I believe that is a big part of his dilemma. Mixed in with his job (what will people say) & his pride. And probably a little fear on his part of "going back to the old ways". Now, of course this is all supposition on my part. So only he knows what the deal is.
You're right on about him having to deal with OW on his own - his mess, not mine. And, part of the reason why I thought it best for him to live on his own goes along with this comment:
Quote: "I know that when my W does come back 100%, it will be because she wants to and because she has done what she needed to do in regard to OM"
...ditto for SO. He moved out, he has the choice to do whatever HE wants to do with his life...whether it be me, OW, or someone else. Now that reality is staring him in the face, now that he has the opportunity for a "real" R with OW, maybe he's finding his own thoughts at odds with each other. And how much of this is due to my DBing efforts - probably a lot. He called last night after work - 1st time in a couple weeks since I told him to stop...I answered - he seemed so mixed up - sad, mad, scared - all in one. Asking me "What am I supposed to do?".
Of course, I can't make his decisions for him. Nor would I want to, besides, lol - I'd be biased!
I don't know....I just keep trying to focus on myself.
