Quote: I really need this break, though. I need to really focus on where "I" want to go from here. Is it time to tell him what I want from him? Point blank, directly -take the chance? If he wants X with me, then I need Y first. It may be. That's something I have to think about as well.
NM, my first thought was "why not?" Of course, DB tells us no R talks but this seems not to be so much of an R talk as you stating your needs and desires for the future. OT once told me (gee, I say that a lot) that I put too negative a spin on these kinds of things. She said, and I really embraced this idea, that it should be a POSITIVE thing to express to your spouse a vision for the future where you are both happy and have a wonderful, vibrant marriage. The statement of that vision should be happy and full of energy, not sad and draining as I think you and I think of it as. We think of any talk like that as being full of fear, anger, resentment and other negative feelings. It doesn't have to be.
I think you could state your needs/desires in a positive way by framing them it a "I want" statement. You could first just tell him flat out that you need a break from all this but that your ultimate desire ("I want us to...") is to have a marriage where you get xxx from him and give xxx to him. You want happiness, security, love and affection, etc, etc. You ARE still committed to making things work but you want to make sure that the path you are on leads to happiness and getting your needs met as well as HIS happiness and meeting HIS needs.
I don't really know if it's a good idea (and I truly mean that, I just don't know) to have that talk, but it's a good thing to even start to think about what you are going to do/say in a positive light rather than this doom and gloom thing you have to DO to your SO.
Oh, and don't worry about not visiting Negative-ville as much. We understand...
