Beware, this is a definite rant. I feel like such a jacka$$, that I BELIEVED he wouldn't lie to me about this important subject.

I talked with him on the phone...and quite frankly, I think I'm done. I can't do this anymore - not with him being so messed up. He thinks it's no big deal. Says the kids think we are still together. D7 gave a few more details - OW was there all 3 times she was at SO's - including the last time when they all colored easter eggs together. That OW was already there when they got there - so, this means she's either got a key and/or possibly lives there. And he says the whole meeting of the OW as "it's no big deal". Says he doesn't want the kids in OW's life.

Says he so confused he doesn't know what to do. There's things I give him that OW doesn't and vice versa. He's afraid of losing one of us. Afraid it'll be the wrong choice.

I'm so upset about the deceit and what he did to D7. I could deal with OW factor - if it was mutually discussed and decided upon BEFOREHAND. If we're really done - then that would be the next stage. Yet - he did it this way.

Some might say I'm trying to control him - but I've had this discussion with him before. That if he wanted to move to that next level,i.e. - introduce the kids - then it needed to be done with everyone aware of what's going on. That's why I am angry. Yes, there's hurt underneath - because of all the underlying stuff between him & I, but I'm doing my best to keep it separate.

He can call me; sleep with me; hang out, eat dinner and simultaneously carry on the same thing with another woman as well? And this isn't going to screw up the kids? Why not just end it with me then? That's what I don't get. Why all the contact...why all the "everything"? Oh - I forgot - he's confused. (Yes, tons of sarcasm dripping off that.) If he wants to be with OW, if he wants them to be a big happy family - then why the hell is still involving himself with me?

He said "we weren't getting along". That's why he went to OW. I said Yes, things we could have worked on. Things that I have difficulties working on now when there is OW in the background." He said "I know." I said "I recognize a lot of things that I did in our R that I didn't do right - I know that. I know what they are. The things you need from me." I went on..."It's just that I find it so very difficult to do when you have that other R now."

He says "No woman will be a part of what he does. They don't understand - only *I* do. That I've been the only one who has ever understood (his job and his way of thinking). I said "You told me OW understood you? She doesn't? I thought all along that's what you said about her?" I also asked him if that was what he wanted - to introduce the kids and have OW be a part of their life. He said No, he doesn't want that. WTF????

He's so messed up. One minute I can do no right - the next, he says something completely opposite. It all makes ME so confused. How do I handle this? I don't feel that this is something I can let slide, but I don't know how to enforce this boundary. I mean, I asked if he wants OW to meet them - he says no. But then is he going to sneak it behind my back again? That's not right either.

Is he afraid? Having OW meet the kids would bump that R into a different status. And where does that leave me? I don't think I could continue taking the late night phone calls, the "emotional ties" that OT pointed out...that would all have to cease, in my eyes. Is that wrong? Right? I've already been thinking about putting an end to all that anyway. I'm just too confused to make any sense of anything.