Yes, it was hard for me "before". Mostly due to my personality traits. I'm a very shy introvert. I don't identify with the need for compliments. I'm the person that gets stage fright....So, the act of learning to SAY things, to in fact say the compliment - gosh, that was really hard for me. I felt awkward and it was very unnatural to me. But when I saw how it made him feel, well, that was worth it. And of course, the more you do something, the more natural it becomes. It's still difficult for me say things, but I DO IT ANYWAY. Actually have to force myself at times, but it's worth it.
5 LL's is important because I am not good at getting or giving compliments. My LL seems to be QT (Quality Time) and PT (Physical Touch)....so, as they say, we usually do to/for others that which we would like for ourselves.
Well, if we follow the 5LL Credo, that's wrong. We need to find out what our P's LL is. My SO's seems to be AOS (Acts of Service) and WOA (Words of Affirmation). Things that "I" don't know how to identify with because they aren't what I need to feel loved.
For example, I could really care if he takes the garbage out for me. But, to HIM, he's doing what he thinks will earn my love. When I read the book, I quickly figured out that my holding his hand wasn't going to get me anywhere. He needed to HEAR that what he was doing was good and appreciated. So this is something I'm learning in order to make him happy.
Does this help? Your W may not be giving you the compliments YOU need, because that's not what she needs to feel loved and she doesn't know how to identify with doing that. Maybe giving her a copy of 5 LL would be in order?
