OOH - Locked out and didn't even know it! That's what happens when I post long-winded rants! Thanks Chrissy & White for stopping by.
Yesterday was such a gorgeous day! About 75 out - spent a lot of the day outside with the kids.
Told SO I was going out, which I did, but not for as long as I made it appear. Didn't answer any of his calls when he did try to get me during the day. I was upset about the things I was thinking about yesterday - didn't want to speak with him until I was ready.
Finally spoke with him around 7 PM...he questioned what I did all day, I was vague - letting the kids tell him what we did during the day. D7 also lost a tooth, I didn't mention anything about it, let her tell him. He emailed last night telling me good night - I was going to respond including something about playing the tooth fairy, decided against it. I knew D7 would tell him this morning - stuff like that is better coming from her, instead of me. I've realized that DB is right on - don't tell them things - let them learn about it on their own. I did a bunch of work in the yard yesterday, I didn't (won't) mention it. He'll notice. Mum's the word these days on what I'm doing with my life....if he wants to ask, he will.
He did call during the night after leaving work, I answered as I haven't in a while. He asked if his call was bothering me - I wondered to myself what I was supposed to answer...I mean it's 1 AM - what does he think I'm doing? Sleeping - so, yes the call disturbs my sleep..as for my frame of mind? Well, WTH? I have no idea why he calls, I don't think he does either. It's not out of necessity; it's not out of habit - he never used to call until these past few months. So, I just avoided answering. Nothing I wanted to get into at that hour & being half asleep.
Sometimes I feel bad when we do all these things and he's so busy working or sleeping. But, I guess that's his choice. He's the one missing out on watching our kids grow up. He's the one missing out on riding the 4-wheelers with them; playing Easter bunny, tooth fairy and everything else. He's missing out on all the special moments that make up their life. I feel bad for him - he'll never get those special times back.
From your post Whitelight - "shallow adoration". Yes, he gets a lot of that. I never was very good at complimenting him - it's taken me lots of practice to get comfortable with it. Now, I can do it without feeling like it's fake on my part. I think it's important to him - WOA...so, I trained myself to do it - because it's important to him. Now, it's not so awkward for me, and it makes him happy. What better reason to do it. I don't make things up - I try to find something, anything, to point out & thank or praise him for. It's what makes him tick and I recognize that. So no matter if I identify with it or not, it's what works for him....I need to purchase a copy of 5 LL's! Keep it handy as a reminder!
On apologizing to him for the past - well, I have no idea how to do that. How to bring it up, or what to even say. I've been thinking about it, and need to think on it some more. I really don't want to screw it up or anything.
I don't have a lot planned for today - just some cleaning. Whoo-hoo! LMAO Maybe shoot to the store and buy some plants/flowers for outside. Unfortunately, it looks like my plans to go out tomorrow night aren't going to happen.
