Lillieperl, Thanks for your reply. Don't worry about physical abuse w/me, I'm not afraid of that happening and I'm not afraid anymore period. I used to be and walked on eggshells for a long time after that happened. His last outburst was about 6mos ago and he did throw something.(not at me)and at the time I was dealing with my feelings re:the OM so I felt so guilty(though thats not what our fight was about),that I kind of let it go but I did tell him at the time we needed counseling and he agreed.That's when I started looking and found this site. I want to have a session w/Michelle and am planning to make that happen as soon as I can, I'm also going to look into something here locally. Yes he does need to deal w/the issues(abuse), his childhood and all the pain and junk he must deal with. I was lucky enough to have a great childhood and family. He does admit that he has issues but does blame me most of the time for any negative things in our lives. I know better though and I dont let him manipulate me that way. He does try though. I have initiated all or any counseling that we've had. once at about 5yrs married and then at 7yrs when we had the abuse incident, and again me now. Then I felt it would be humiliating for him(I didnt know other people had these problems, I thought I was oversexed or something was wrong with me, that's why I think this sitch w/OM has been allowed by God, so I would get where I am now-to save my marriage). Yes my husband is also a Christian and has been much longer than I. I think right now life has just kinda been working against us- he's trying to work alot more hours to pay things off and hopefully get me to stay home, plus I work overtime sometimes as well. I hope I answered all of your questions and I'll wait to hear from you. Thanks again- right now this is my therapy.
