sex starved marriage

[Brian_M]

Nena:
I hear that you are clearly suffering a great deal. Believe me, I sympathize. My W did not want to ML to me on our wedding night either. I know far too well how things like that can really hurt. I share this with you to reinforce that you are not alone in your pain. Sadly, you experiences are far too common. Though, the uplifting thing to remember is that you can change the situation. There are resources available to you where you can find guidance. Most importantly, these problems are not a reflection of your self worth!

With that said, do you really need me to even respond to the questions you asked or do you already know the answers in your own heart? Yes, you are having a hard time communicating with your H. Though, based on your own statements, it seems clear you already know that getting help and working on the communication issues will be far more productive than seeking validation outside of your M. You don’t need any one to rationalize that for you.

So let’s step back for a moment. The conversations with Lillie and Cobra have uncovered that your intimate relationship with your H has been strained since your wedding night. Since then, you and your H have spiraled around in circles developing that intimate relationship based on reactions to emotional pain and stress. Of course there are problems! So the question remains, what can you do to save your M? Well, the reality is that the first step has to be both partners committing to working on the problems. My suggestion would be first and foremost, cut the OM out of the equation. External distractions will definitely carry through and make any kind of progress much harder. Next, I would suggest that you talk openly and honestly with your H and what you are feeling. Most importantly, let him how much jeopardy the M is in. (Though, I would leave the OM out of your discussions.) You must get through to your H and he must prioritize working on the issues too. I hope this helps and offers a little inspiration.