sex starved marriage

[Brian_M]

Sorry to hear about your tough situation. As you can see by reading this forum, M issues cause a lot of pain. Hopefully the knowledge that you are not alone will offer a little solace.

I was just reading statistics recently, and I believe that it was something like 1 in 4 marriages have some sort of extra marital slip. Though, when you look at national averages for divorce, it makes me wonder about the correlation might be between those two sets of numbers?

I'm attracted to another man and wish I had the guts to act on this..

I know this may be a controversial thing to say, but I don’t see how it is possible to be human and not have attraction outside of your M. Then, if you M is stressed, the temptation is only that much more enticing.

Though, this is where the harsh reality of commitment you made to your H comes into play. You signed up for life and even had some kids to solidify the bond. M itself is the promise to forgo that temptation and be faithful, right? Actually, I think that is normally even one of the vows. Violation of that commitment will forever change the state of your M. Of course, if you H finds out, he would probably leave you. Plus, can you imagine what your kinds would think of you if they found out? Most importantly though, imagine what would go through your head if you cheated, because afterwards you still have to wake up with your H and family every day and live the lie that they can still trust you. Can you live with that? Yes, that was the fear tactic/reality check part of my speal.

So here is my controversial humble opinion: If you are unhappy with the M, I would suggest exhausting all possible attempts to fix it first. Then, if you eventually conclude that it just will not bring you happiness, get out and be free to see whomever you want. Though, most importantly, don’t allow misery to fester in a stagnant M. I would recommend interpreting this a clear sign that it is time to get up and get change started.