Cemar, I used to think that I was sexy only if my H found me sexy.
Now I think I'm sexy, regardless of what he does/says.
I validate myself..I know who I am. I don't look to him to provide my esteem in any area.
Don't get me wrong--I want him to think I'm sexy and his opinion certainly matters to me.
But it's not the end all, be all. It used to be that if H noticed me, man I thought I was hot. If he didn't, I felt like a disgusting loser.
I look back on that now and think, wtf was wrong with me?
I suspect that getting over this is a bit easier for the HDW, simply because we get validation of our sexiness on a daily basis. So it was easier for me to say, Hey I'm pretty good all on my own, despite what H does or doesn't do. The attention from other men fanned that flame and helped me to ingrain this thought into my personality. But, ultimately, it was a matter of relying on my own opinion of myself and not someone else's.
H has expressed infinite gratitude at this change in me. I used to exhaust him with my desire for him to prop me up.
