wednesday august 23rd 3:30pm 2006

wow time is sure flying &
the ups & downs & twists & turns of the mlc roller coaster contiue
the thing with being semi-comfortable in LimboLand is that when I do get caught up on the ride, I realise it & my ups & downs aren't as drastic as in the early years

I'm missing my baby boy but God has granted me peace so that I'm not worrying about him
"Prodigal Son" is trying to get someone trained to cover his position
most of the folks are trained to "drive" the ship USS Harpers-Ferry
but only Prodigal & another guy are trained to "Park" it into a port
he won't be apporved for leave until he's got someone trained & passed on qualifications

with the recent events there's a part of me that is fearful
theres no other way for Prodigal to come home except by plane
but i'm keeping up my prayers & i know that God's going to keep Prodigal protected
so i'm praying that he'll be able to get some military flights to keep his costs down
Prodigal is hoping to come home near the end of november so that he'll be here for his b-day in early dec & possibly leave after christmas
last yr he had to go back before thanksgiving & althou he'd just come from home
he said it was even a bit more depressing not being with us for the holidays

duaghter is in rebellion stage right now so we're back to not speaking
actaully i need the emotional break from her althou i miss g-son
althou i'm not so thrilled with some of the things g-son has picked up from school
but those attitudes are something which daughter will have to worry about if she doesn't handle it now
she'll have big problems later on when the child gets to be a few years older
thats the hard part of being a care-taker g-ma, having to deal with parental attitude
she's not wise enough to realise that her rebellion still in progress is starting to show up in her child since his father's family has very corrupt attitudes (the babydaddy curses his mother all the time, g-son hasn't yet tried that with either of us but he's starting to do that with the other g-ma & she's allowing for it - it's just a matter of time before he'll try to get away with it at daughter's house as well)
but daughter is just going to find out the hard way
just like she learned the hard way when she got fired from her job for all of her lates & call outs from not being able to get up after partying too hard the nite before

http://SettingCaptivesFree.com has been keeping me positively busy
I've been taking the United Front course for spouses
who's spouses who are in sexual sin & other addictions
when I'm done with the course I'll be taking the mentor's course
so that way I'll be "officially" trained to do what I've been doing anyway
helping people thru this time of crisis from a biblical perspective
althou the course is mostly geared for people whose spouse is in repentance & trying to break from the sins
I felt lead to take the course now becasue what so many spouses need to realise
is that while God is dealing with their spouse they need to prepare themselves to get into proper line also with what God expects
many of us LBS's aren't truely ready if our spouse were to stop suddenly &
return home wanting to act as proper spouses
it's something which Michelle does address in her books
but people are so stuck in their hurts they can't truely understand that

I've found my home church & am getting settled into it
2 times a week I go intercessroy prayer for us here & who I've been chatting with
I got a praise report from a girl who didn't even realise that I'd been having the IP group pray for

I'd had a small battle with depression recently
i guess it was just the realisation that it's almost 4yrs in LimboLand
byron had also out of the blue turned into super mr nastyman
but i just wasn't able to take it for a bit & started to get heartbroke
but God showed me thru a few signs that
the mr super nastyman attitude was just byron's reaction to guilt
the week prior monday byron had a temper tantrum in wal-mart when I asked him to buy $14 worth of stuff
then last week tuseday he was ok in tone but attitude still showed
when i brought up that I wanted to g back to the meetings we used to have the day prior to payday
last week thursday he met me after work at the church
but he sat for 15 minutes outside in his car fuming
so while i was inside waiting for him he was working himself up outside
we went to a new to us sports bar to sit, eat & suppose to go over the budget
but byron was very unco-operative so nothing got discussed
in the car ride back to my car i pointed out that we made no progress due to his unco-operative attitude

last friday was payday & to my surprise byron actually almost gave me all that he was suppose to & his attitude was softened towards me
when i spoke to him on monday to ask byron what happened to him
he said that he'd gotten up late so he was unable to drop off my printouts or the cd player
i mentioned that one of the emails was a forward which I'd planned to bring to church
to my surprise byron called me back about 2 hrs later asking what time was preyer group
he was going to come to church & drop off the papers to me so I'd have what I need

ok folks God does work in mysterious ways
one of the moocher gang come over to the house to work on the phone line
it can be only God because Byron didn't send Dan to the house nor did he even schedule the work
another guy was supposed to come out & passed the job to dan
since the guy wasn't going to be able to get to the house prior to my needing to leave for church @ 6p
Moocher Dan hasn't seen me in over 2 yrs maybe longer
when he was at the door he said don't i know you?
he looks so bad now that I wasn't sure who it was so i said whats your name
he said Dan &
i said you know me silly it's been a few years, I'm Byron's wife silly
i teased him about getting him married off so he'd fatten up
(the man is less than 40 & looks 50 & thin as a 6'2" bean pole)
anyway it was funny for me to have Dan in the house
i sorta knew that when byron was screwing around with robin
it split their friendship so that Dan & byron weren't hanging so tightly
from the few comments that dan made it was confirmation of it
but as he left out I gave him a hug of friendship

ok this is one of those days that definately God's hand was working
i called byron as I was about to leave for church to say thanks for the surprise
byron hadn't scheduled for anyone to come to the house

during the prayer circle time byron showed up into church
not quite sure what time he got there since i had my eyes closed
i didn't hear the door open when he came in
all i know is that when one of the girls coming in late
joined in to the circle i opened my eyes & byron was sitting there quietly
i stayed in the circle so i wouldn't interupt but i was distracted
the whole prayer circle praying in front of people is sorta new to me
so i've already been a bit self-concious to start
but a wave hit me of being self-concious...
was he there while i was praying for all of LBS's?
our prayer leader broke from the circle to ask him if he wanted to join us
byron said no he was waiting for me & she told him the times we meet
& that he was invited to join us
she said he said something but didn't recognise my name
i said maybe he said "My Wife Theresa"?
she said maybe that was it

oops walked away & forgot about finishing the post - it's now almost time for me to leave for church service 6:15p thursday nite august 24th 2006 let me post this & i hope that this isn't lost but i'm going to do a copy & paste just in case
I'll finish my update hopefully when i get back after church tonite