I know this sounds strange but this is something you have to do regardless of the outcome. You have to let him go.
"How did you and your wife reconcile the first time? What made it work other than the fact you did not believe in divorce?"
It was all me. I was willing to forgive, forget and start afresh....unconditionally. Limped along for another 16 more years and she turned into a WAW. I had turned into a complete ass over that time. I changed dramtically. Physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually. 22 hours of intense counselling with a fantastic counseller helped as well as 12 months of separation. Never D'd but reconcilled. Again, I forgave and forgot unconditionally. Had an incredibly R with her from 03/2003 to 04/2005, then without the slightest warning, she became a WAW again. I've withdrawn all forgiveness and she can go to hell as far as I am concerned. I ain't looking back.
againstodds, I know I'm talking to you in concepts that you may understand but don't quite fathom. Alot of this R stuff goes completely opposite to what people instinctively do. I suggest as a starting point, you get yourself a copy of Divorce Remedy by Michele Weiner-Davis if you haven't done so already. I'm absolutely convinced that you'll get great value and benefit from it. Doesn't matter that you are D'd, it's about your next R whether it is with your ex or with someone else.
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
