You're support and advice really mean a lot to me during this time. I can say that I am defensive about my part but I am also trying very hard to be clear that I have owned up to my mistakes. I think your suggestion of visiting cancer patients is wonderful. I took care of my dad when he has sick with cancer until he passed away. I have worked with hospice patients as well. My point is that being with someone who has cancer is tough too. Both of us were dealing with cancer, him being the primary one.
I have forgiven myself for not doing my part. I don't know if he can forgive me. I cant make him. I accept that as well. What I feel is truly lacking is an understanding of where he would consider going. I am more than willing to humble myself, take the time we need to make it work again. I simply don’t know the best way to go about it.
As I mentioned, I am more than willing to do what it takes. Even if that means letting go. I like to think I have more spunk than that though-- no one gets anywhere by wishing. No amount of words can make up for anything. Action over time can though.
From the day I met him I knew he was the one for me. I moved from two states away sight unseen to where he relocated to( he had been traveling for work full time before that)We had met, talked online a LOT but only seen each other a handful of times. I am not a person to sit and wonder what if this and what if that. I simply got in my car, said a prayer and knew that worst come to worst there were plenty of homeless shelters. But it was all worth the risk.
How did you and your wife reconcile the first time? What made it work other than the fact you did not believe in divorce?
