You are indeed a remarkable wowan and you speak great words. I'm picking up from your postings that you are incredibly defensive of your role in the breakup. In my experience, it's this sort of defensiveness that is rooted in denial. You cannot move forward if you live in denial and you can only and genuinely move forward if you accept that you didn't do the best you could have in the 50% of the relationship that you were responsible for.
It seems to me that you still need to forgive yourself first before you can expect to be forgiven.
Where you live is your choice however, it is expected that if you are closer together then the chances are strong that you'll start to grow together once again. BUT THIS IS NOT THE ANSWER. It is you, your failings in the past and the denial that you are living in that is robbing you of a successful reconcilliation.
I stand by all the advice that I have given you, especially the volunteer work. Do all this first before you pack your bags.
Good luck,
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
