Nicky, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. The thing is, you never know what is around the corner and what door will open for you. My mom had 2 miscarriages in between my brother and me. She ended up having me at age 45...and this kept her young! She is close to 90 now. You never know how your life story will unfold. But that's little consolation now...just know you are loved and be good to yourself.