Sorry to see you so down in the dumps. But as you said you will fall in love with this baby as you did your first.
I went through those emotions with child 2 who was very unplanned even conteplated termination even though it is against my religion. Second trimester all was well. When I found out I was pregnant again after child three who was still in the hospital and was only two months old. I prayed to God if he was going to take one of my children to take the one I had not seen yet. Which is exactly how it played out. But the grief of it was terrible it hit me after child three got out of the hospital. I was in the middle of walmarts at the time and just broke down.
So I think what you are feeling is normal when your life is teetering already to not be elated at first.
And dont forget that your hormones will make you see H differently. I kicked my H out repeatedly the first trimester of every pregnancy. And over things that were silly.
Tonight if H comes to bed and does not put his arm around you instead of building resentment just wrap yours around him. He may need a sign just as bad as you do
