Don't know what to say, my heart goes out to you and this latest twist. I know we aren't supposed to say this, but perhaps it will be for the best. Go dark on your W; do things with your kids (without her), etc. I know your sitch is a little more complicated with the ED and all, but perhaps if you completely drop the rope, it will force your W to finally face things. You've set your boundary, now it will take more work on your part to let your W know you are serious about it.
Sorry I can't offer much more, as you know my life is too confusing for me to sort out let alone be of any damned good use to anyone else in the "advice" department!
But I did want to send the sunshine back to you today! NM
