Did you get a chance to read either of those books I suggested?
Also - google "something fishy" - a website for EDs, they have a message board with a special section for spouses.
I think I forgot to mention, my D did well with high-dose Prozac. It's the standard treatment for OCD, and while it's not proven to work during the acute phase of anorexia, studies do show it reduces relapse, and in my D's case, reducing her OCD component was crucial to her recovery.
