Well, Rob, I don't know if you remember awhile back when there was a huge debate here about Frank not taking his W to the hospital because she fainted or something. I saw SUCH venom in that argument on both sides, people who thought he was irresponsible for not taking her, and people who thought it was ok that he didn't. Of course there was more to it, but your sitch reminded me of it and reminded me of how indignant people can get when they think you are not doing all you can do to "help" someone who does not want to be helped.
At some point, I think you may be thinking that to help your W, you may have to endanger your fragile R by doing something extreme like calling a ambulance or involving other people in the situation, or something else that would likely be seen in her eyes as a breach of trust. It's deciding when that risk needs to be taken that is the REAL tricky part. You would never want to put ANYTHING above your w's health, even your marriage but short of imminent, obvious dire health danger, when do you make that call?
