Well as usual GH, I'm glad to have your take on things....and I'm starting to get real concerned about parallel lives here.. lol
Quote: Again, for me, I KNOW it's not about this but it just feels like OM "did it for her" in terms making her feel better about herself and now that she's "with me" again, she feels worse again. I tell her she looks great, give her specific compliments, validate, everything and still she seems to not give a damn what I think or say.
Precisely...I don't think I could have stated it any better than that. But I guess another concern here is to what degree will she ever be able to address her underlying issues with herself and with our M? I know for my part, I have been very introspective and sought to identify what negative behaviors and emotions I bring to the R....but I wonder if she will ever find it within herself to do the same? Positive changes in oneself can have postive effects on another, but to what degree when the other person really doesn't feel the need to change?
Yes, I know I cannot force anything on her and I cannot tell her how to be happy, etc... it just can be very taxing and quite honestly, sad, to see her like this. She has avoided all of those that she used to be close to for fear that a) she'll be lectured about how she looks and b) likely from guilt. In the end, I have so many people telling me that as her H, I should be doing something to address it.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
