Journaling: the continuation of my saga

[PArob]

Thanks Mama for your reply. It does help in some way to know that we are not the only ones to go through this.

I was reading up on your sitch and I understand your dilemma. That being said, it still may be wise for you to seek out counseling if for nothing other than to get yourself "together." I myself have been debating about this for several months and still haven't taken the plunge, but there are days when I question whether I can continue on without that insight.

I also feel this way but I also resent the fact that my H makes me feel like this is all my fault. Like I am a moody, psycho. Instead of working with me I feel like he is working against me. I maybe should read 5LL again, but why? I feel like nothing I do or say makes a damn bit of difference. I have a real hard time doing the "act as if" thing, the happy cheerful little housewife. When I do this then I feel like it is giving him permission to continue with his secret life.

Yeah, I can identify with the last part of your statement. Truthfully, I find it hard to play the "role" of happy husband when I know that things aren't so "happy". Yet, I still try if only to save my sanity, but also that of my girls and my W.

As for our S's making us feel like we've "made" them seek out the A, I guess to be fair, they are merely projecting their negative emotions onto those they feel closest to. They feel guilty, they are overwhelmed and they are afraid to take a good close look at who they have become. Its easier to lash out at others than it is to reflect upon oneself. To a large degree, I do this as well. I think this is why it is so important for us to focus only on what we can change, they things that we ourselves can only control.

Thanks again for replying. You too try to have a good weekend!