Quote: (Yes, Ellie, I can hear you now -- "Here's your credit, Sage, now get a babysitter!" )
Yup.
It IS overwhelming to have a child and realize how all-consuming it is to take care of them - and for guys, they feel simultaneously like they lost their wife. You NEED a weekly date night, no ifs ands or buts.
As for critiquing his parenting - we moms do have a tendency to take over in that department, criticize H for not doing it right, then criticize them for leaving it all up to us! One thing that will help is if you get some YOU time on the weekend, where he has to be solely responsible for her for a chunk of time. He won't do things the way you would, but eventually he'll gain more confidence in his parenting skills.
Also - all this sleeping sounds like he's depressed again. Of course, when he's depressed, everything seems like it must be your fault. Would he use a light box? Can you sneak a dawn simulator into the bedroom (I know where to get a really cheap one for under $30). Check out this website of an old professor of mine, he's done a lot of the research showing that light therapy helps regular depression too, and has a nice little free e-book that covers all the bases - www.dankripke.org I think.
Hang in there. Speak his love languages, give him your attention, carve out some couples time. Feed him salmon and vitamins. You can do this.
