Looking backward but only to look forward SIX

[sage]

Hi Ellie, Slowly and AMD,

Sorry to post and run. I won't whine about having no time to post I thought about posting many times while I was at work this week but felt funny about it.

Thanks so much for the suggestions, all, I really appreciate them. I KNOW that time together with h is the key for us and I can see myself in a crappy cycle and I suppose it's a good thing that I can see it but I'm trying so hard to stop it and it's not going as well as I want.

Just last week my stepmom and dad said they'd like to babysit at least once a month so that's cool. I've also got three other potential babysitters (teachers from dd's daycare) so I can swing something at least 2 times a month, I think. I swear, though, I just want to bop h off the head of late...he's probably thinking "I'm in this negative pattern and I can't break it".

What I really need to do is start posting some goals and 180s...getting back to my roots, ya know? I also feel like if I read my old threads I could get myself back into the groove.

But simple truth...spending more time with h, letting go of resentment and score keeping, focusing on the positives, speaking his LL, etc. would all go a long way.

Sage