Looking backward but only to look forward SIX

[sage]

Happy new year everyone!

Hey, amd, thanks for the Xmas wishes!

Slowly, you too!

I often wonder if you plan to go back to work in 2007?

Do you mean my "day job"? If so, I'm already back -- since June -- not as traumatizing as I thought but still difficult nonetheless.

Or, did you mean DB'ing? If the latter...I desperately need to be back here right now! Posting more regularly, checking things out, etc.

Deal is...h has been looking sort of shell shocked of late. Told me over the weekend that he finds caring for DD "all encompassing" and too much...that weekdays are better than weekends...that he needs a lot more downtime than he's getting (let's be clear...he gets plenty of free passes from me...). So, for most of the weekends of late he's been pretty distant...not wanting to hang out with me and Charlotte and being sort of a jerk when he is. I hate seeing this for a thousand different reasons...it reminds me of THEN...it reminds me of my dad and his crappy parenting, etc.

I know I need to get my head wrapped around this and I know it's fixable (?) with enough energy on my part but truth be told, I'm tired...tired physically, tired mentally, and in some ways, tired of being responsible for US. I should give him credit for telling me clearly what's up but, it's still difficult.

What I need to do is get out my logical approach and break this all down...it's not just one thing, it's 3 or 4. Short version is that he needs more time with me, to be sure...and more enjoyable time with Charlotte, and more time when he can do his own thing without guilt.

She's in kind of a rough phase right now...teething...trying to stand up on everything and not always successfully so needing constant supervision, kind of crabby, truth be told! But, I love being with her so I feel as though we're getting polarized again...I'm the one who enjoys our daughter and he's the one who doesn't. I know if I stick to that theory, things will get worse quickly.

I need to work out when things are actually better...what the setting is...what's going on for him at work, at home, etc.

See why I said I need to be back here???

Sage