Looking backward but only to look forward SIX

[sage]

How silly was I to think there would be a 1, 2, 3 answer

Well...it kind of is a 1, 2, 3 answer...you don't have to feel overwhelmed by the process because all you can do is make a change, perform an action and see how it works...iow, you're not going to solve your "disconnection" problem without trying one thing or another first...one step at a time.

Here's my 1, 2, 3 suggestion for you:

1. Do one thing over the next week that you and h used to enjoy doing together -- a movie, a dinner out, etc. Ask him to join you...if he says no, DO IT ANYWAY and then warmly and excitedly tell him about it. Perhaps it will pique his interest in those things again!

2. Do one thing in the next week that speaks directly to his love language (are you familiar with this concept? the premise is that each person has a primary love language that when "spoken" makes the person feel loved but other efforts at speaking other languages to them don't convey love the way we think it should. the ll's are: words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, physical touch, acts of service.) think about what your h's ll is and then speak it!

3. Do one thing this week that will please you! Take some time to explore a new interest, etc.

If I do say so myself, the above would give a pretty reasonable guideline for reconnecting with oneself and ones spouse!

Sage