Looking backward but only to look forward SIX

[sage]

Hi everyone,

Greetings from baby central. Charlotte is doing wonderfully -- 3 months in a few days -- and she's a joy. She's changing every day -- doing something new and cool. Already today she discovered the delight of the book "Fuzzy Chick" for the first time (though we've been looking at it for weeks). I am truly the doting mom!

Unfortunately, in times of stress (and there are many) I find myself reverting back to my old bad habits with h. Mostly around the area of offering up my bad old opinion about just about everything...I am constantly micromanaging how he deals with dd and it's driving me crazy. That and I just feel pissed off much more frequently and haven't been doing much to manage that as well. I swear, there are days when I wonder how the heck I EVER focused on DB'ing! I remember my intensity and sense of purpose and wonder how the heck to get it back.

There is good news, though...first off, h seems to not be holding this all against me. He told me yesterday that he understands that my intentions are good, that it's my instinct to want things to go perfectly for her so that if I think he's doing something wrong I instantly step in. At 4 this morning (while I was micromanaging his efforts to give her a bottle) we agreed that I need to condition myself to just let them find their way. I can do that.

Also, the other good news is that she's FINALLY getting the hang of sleeping we think (knock wood). After 12 weeks of being up every 2 hours or so round the clock, she slept 5 hours 2 nights ago and 6 last night. Of course, I can't sleep 'cause I'm too worried about why she's not waking up!! What a goon.

h and I have a date this week to celebrate my birthday (goodness, I'm going to be 40!!!). I'm really looking forward to it.

I started back to work last week -- working from home for last week and this week -- and a week from tomorrow dd is going to daycare. Another adjustment for all of us!

Maybe the combination of more sleep plus someone else caring for her for a bit will help me get my DB legs back. I'm also going to try to do the KLA tapes again.

Sage