Looking backward but only to look forward SIX

[sage]

Do you mean disconnected from your spouse? Yes

Ah, thanks.

Well, I think you guys need to rediscover the things that brought you together in the first place and/or kept you going at times you don't feel disconnected. Michele would ask "What's different about the times you don't feel that way?" and then go from there.

Do you know your h's love language? Do you know yours? (I'm referring to the book "The Five Love Languages" by Chapman). For me, a way to resolve feeling disconnected is to make an effort to speak h's love language because that warms him right up and makes him want to be around me more and that, in turn, makes me feel happier. Now, there is a fine line, though, you can't JUST speak his language and never get YOURS satisfied because you will likely end up resentful and that sure equals more disconnection in my book!

Are you familiar with the love language concept?

What did you guys used to do together that you enjoyed?

Also, don't discount the possibility that you may have your own solo needs to attend to that once met will make you feel more connected in general. IOW, are there things that you would like to pursue now that you have more free time as an empty nester? Satisfying some of those needs could make you feel more complete which will certainly benefit your marriage.

You might want to check out threads by "eyesopened", too. She posts over in the KLA section but a good search would help you find her too.

So, what do you think?

Sage