Sage, my dear (you're not floating away in these rains, btw, are you???) - Just a couple thoughts - - yes, you need to find a way to spend time with H. I know how hard those first months can be with a baby that doesn't sleep! Now that school is out, perhaps it will be easier to find a little smidgen of "couple time".
- yes, many guys are clueless about the importance of recognizing certain milestones. Also, some guys have this funny "but you're not MY mother" attitude towards Mother's Day (btw, did H remember HIS mom, or did he blow her off too?). Still, the thought that rings in my mind is "we teach people how to treat us". After a somewhat less than what I expected Mother's Day myself yesterday, I'm realizing the bad effects of my habit of being too undemanding over the years.
I've always been the one that understood if H was just too busy to shop, or whatever. Now, don't get me wrong, H CAN be quite thoughtful - but he can also drop the ball sometimes. Once in a while, when things are just crazy - okay, I'm no primadonna, I can deal with that. But I realize now I really let H off the hook way too often, so that now I am disappointed and he can't figure out what my problem is, because I was always okay with it before when he didn't really step up to the plate. (And yes, I will admit, I definitely feel after the affair that he OWES it to me to make a big deal of things like Mother's Day etc. )
So.....since you are at the beginning of this journey, you will need to figure out what you want, and teach H how to treat you. Before you embark on this, you need to figure out which kind of Mother's Day you want. There are two schools of thought - "I want to be fawned over and served while I sit like a Princess with my kids and adoring H around me and do no cooking or dishes or cleaning all day" school of thought, or the "I want the day completely off to go shop and get a massage without worrying about the kids or my H" school of thought. Both approaches are equally valid - you just want to figure out how you want to spenmd the next 20 Mother's Days.
Once you've decided - then declare to H that NEXT Sunday is actually Mother's Day, and you expect A) breakfast in bed, flowers, a card and a gift, and he will cook dinner and do the dishes, or B) he will clean the house and take care of the baby while you go for a massage and a pedicure and meet some girlfriends for a movie (okay, so you might have to stop to pump some breast milk somewhere in there).
Don't make him feel too bad about it - just let him know this is important to you, so he gets a "do-over" next Sunday.
Then make sure you reciprocate on Father's Day!!!!