In all of this I see a repeat of where we were in our M for several years. No affection or very little. No sex or maybe once a month with begging and pleading. Always the act not enagagment. If I honestly forsake approaching her and settle for what she is offering, without communicating the how it affects me, am I not just giving in and settling for that kind of relationship/marriage that caused my EA before.
I know that Cobra and several others have alluded to time, counseling, etc. and I agree, I am just looking at this from all angles. I certainly do not want one outcome, Divorce. But I can see that as a very viable outcome of this process. And in doing so am preparing mentally fo such outcome but not wagering all my chips on that outcome.
How do I stay above the chessboard, yet try and communicate what I feel. I fully understand that if I do that the outcome may not be what I want and a decision will have to be made. I understand that by doing so this MAY force an outcome I may not desire. I also understand that this is her issue and not mine.
Again, this is thinking long range here. Not tonight or in the near future. One of the things that is an attribute (or fault depending how you view it) is my ability in planning for possible outcomes. I need to be prepared for my course of actions. Not in response to her's necessarily, but rather the next steps to repair. I feel I have a good start on not trying to predict her response and have a counter response ready, that approach has led to me forcing the response I did not desire becuase I was spending to much time on how I would counter it.
I am comfortable right now with where the R is at this point, due to her job and the need for space to think and not have constant pressure. But I certainly do not like the spot or where the relationship is.
Just a bit of venting maybe or brainstorming.
F4W
Through honest giving of my love I will recieve 10 fold in return.
Just because a person does not love you in the way you want, does not mean they do not love you!
