One reason I am here is because by lurking here for months I have seen the wisdoms of many of you. That is why I let Cobra in the inner sanctum and am free to share everything here.
Not that I am a SSM "groupie" but I see the logic and workable solutions not always presented in the other forums.
As to the chess board I agree, and am trying to do that right now. As Cobra and I have discusses, my letting go creates more fear and anxiety in me because I am not affecting any change. In reality I am affecting more change by doing nothing. By nothing I mean instigating or reacting to the shots she is firing.
What of the impression that I am being aloof,arrogant, or giving up. I fear that also. That is why I am trying to carry on in a loving caring manner at home and carry on a sense of normal ineteractions.
I am trying to give the message, I am still here, I have finally heard you and trying to give you that without saying it or looking like I am reacting in a manner to gain her favor.
Here is my fear, at the end of the 3 weeks of her busy time it will be over. What I am trying to do is not fear that. That it is the decision that she might make. But again, as Cobra will agree with, that may be my fear of abandonement speaking.
Trying to find the best course through the rocks.
F4W
Through honest giving of my love I will recieve 10 fold in return.
Just because a person does not love you in the way you want, does not mean they do not love you!
