I think Chrissy mentioned that she will file for D, and in her state she must be separated fro 1 year before the D is finalized. How long do you have to wait where you live? Add to that all the time in lawyer negotiations, waiting for a court date…. What is one year?
Regarding your wife, how and why would she ever try to save herself if you keep doing it for her? As long as you do this to keep her “comfortable” what incentive does she have to change? Aren’t you enabling her negative behavior?
I also wouldn’t necessarily assume she is so strong. My impression is that a lot of people who put up such a hard, confident exterior are actually some of the weakest people around. They know this too, but work hard to cover it up. Once you crack the exterior, they crumble. Also, is she really that strong willed or are you weaker than you thought? To someone else she may seem like a pushover. To you she is a pillar of stone. Only the RELATIVE difference between you two matters, not the absolute levels of “strength.” If she is a 5 on a scale of 1-10 and you are a 2, she would seem intimidating. But to someone who is an 8, she is nothing. Make yourself into that 8.
Stop worrying about her. She needs to take care of herself. If you can get your center, she will take her lead from you (though she won’t show or acknowledge it). Just calmly do what you need to do in piecing YOURSELF together, not the marriage. Let her take responsibility for the marriage.
