The platonic R continues

[RBinBR]

I just reread the section in DR under infidelity, when your spouse refuses to stop seeing OP to try the "after the last-resort technique". It says to tell your spouse that you love them enough that you are prepared to let go, then back off completely. Don't spend time together, don't talk on the phone, don't do nice things together, don't allow your spouse to feel that there is a relationship between you any longer. Continue this emotional cutoff until your spouse gets the point that there will be no relationship of any sort until and unless OP is completely out of the picture.

Should I or could I do this?

Mama, I've tried this a couple of times, though the first time was never meant be permanent. The second time, I ended up taking her to the emergency room in extreme pain and couldn't help "loving her" there, and it seemed ridiculous to go back to no contact after all we shared that night.

It is easier to deal with life when you go completely dark. Ultimately, though, it amounts to telling the OW that she can have him and seeing if she screws it up. There's no question it's a huge risk, but it's not a bad option if you just don't feel that you can continue with life the way it is. Good luck.