I would also add, for myself especially, if there is something you DO that IS working, then KEEP DOING IT. I feel that whatever detachment process I was on was working with H, and then we had our "break" for the past 5 weeks, which, I still believe will be a GOOD thing.
All in all, remember it this way. Think back to your wedding day, or engagement day. Think of the M you thought you would have, the Spouse you wanted to be. BE that person again. For whatever it's worth, give it your all, in the end, no matter how long it lasts, you'll be glad that you did. That involves letting go of the past, for now, until the time is right to focus on it again. I do believe that hashing through the past is important for lessons and closure and healing, but at the RIGHT time.
