As StrongOne said, I am not sure if logic is running the show with the WAS, especially in the beginning. Seems not. Nonetheless, I admire the WAS determination to do SOMETHING to try to get a handle on their lives when it felt unbearable or untenable to them the way it was. And the fact that the WAS did something that we wish they hadn't (like having an A) is irrelevant. But just like us, they are trying to figure out what is the "right thing" to do now. Maybe they feel like they made a big mistake, so they are trying not to make it any worse than it already is. And I believe that your H and many of the WAS are torn, deeply conflicted - because we have changed and we aren't the insane emotional demanding ones they remember. They are trying to figure out what is the best thing to do. They realize their emotions got the best of them, and they reacted perhaps with bad behavior, and they are trying to figure it out now so they don't make it worse. That's why it's so important that we stay logical and calm ourselves. They want to be logical and calm too, and if we encourage that environment, then they don't have to run away from us just to gain some sanity.
Patience, patience, patience. Your H doesn't really want to leave you, now that you are calm and supportive. He just doesn't want to decide to stay, and then feel like you tricked him and he made the wrong decision. How long can you stay calm and supportive? Forever is the answer he's looking for.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
