Quote: GH, since you are in a way in the same boat as my H - could we role play for a while? What would you need me to do to make you feel safe in our R?
Mama, I'm not sure I know what you mean by that. As I have said ad-naseum to OT when she questions me on my intimacy issues, and in general journaling, I would be FINE, more than fine really, if my W just showed a tiny bit of interest in me. That's all I would need to feel like initiating most, or even all the time. It's not that I feel unsafe, I just feel unloved. I mean I guess I know she loves(ed) me but with no physical manifestation of that love it becomes harder to believe that.
Now, in a perfect world my W would begin to instigate intimacy. She would touch me when we were near. She would rub MY back and hug ME. She would receive my kisses and initiate her own. In short, she would show interest, love, in me physically.
I am a bit of a strange bird in a way. I know my Love Language is physical touch but I don't need much of it to get my tank filled. I have been in relationships where my GF was all over me and I didn't like that either. I just need to feel wanted. I need those little moments above all else. Those little touches in the kitchen. The snuggle on the couch. The unexpected kiss. That's what I would need to feel loved by my W, and if your H is like me, then it's likely he wants the same thing.
Please, feel free to ask more questions about this. It helps me too.
