I think you have taken an important step that most people need to get to at some point in their sitches. I think most of us get there even without knowing it just by DBing and shifting focus from the sitch. We "let go" of those things that we realize we should never have been holding onto in the first place.
It seems to me that one of the most painful parts of all this, at least it was for me, was realizing that I was NOT in control of things like my marriage and even my W. I had to realize that I was only in control of myself and that was scary because I had NO freaking clue what I wanted in life outside pleasing my W and living for my kids. It's scary to realize that your entire way of living is false and has contributed to your unhappiness.
I think you are doing just fine. Please, keep us posted. I'll be thinking of you.
