You know, I'm fine with the Direct Talk and Boundary Enforcement, right up until the point that the other person starts defending why they did whatever they did in the first place. Then the people pleaser in me comes *screamin* out and I hear myself start defending them too! Which only gives them reason to doubt the firmness of my boundary and plants the seeds for the next time they'll test it out.
I totally relate to this as well. Just this morning when my H apologized for something rude he said, I said 'It's ok, I see your point and I understand where you're coming from...' which may be a wonderful thing to say, but my point here is that I barely let him get the apology out because it made me totally uncomfortable that he felt bad.
I continue to be so impressed with you all....listening to the direct way in which you state things CAN make even the hardest things to say sound simple. This stuff isn't simple and so many of you have direct talk and clear communication down very nicely.
Can you say, "You know, I know I've agreed to this in the past but it always ends up with me feeling bad. So from here on, this is how I am going to respond if this situation comes up: xyz. I'm sorry for any confusion."
Well done, particularly to HP who drated that simple but efficient statement!
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
