Quote: You know, I'm fine with the Direct Talk and Boundary Enforcement, right up until the point that the other person starts defending why they did whatever they did in the first place. Then the people pleaser in me comes *screamin* out and I hear myself start defending them too! Which only gives them reason to doubt the firmness of my boundary and plants the seeds for the next time they'll test it out. Stupid, honey!
I am eminently uncomfortable with other people's discomfort. Never want anyone else to feel bad. Being an opinionated, domineering female this can get hard--don't want to hurt anyone yet I can't keep my mouth shut.
EXACTLY!!!!!! This is me to a T!!!! I hate other people's discomfort, especially if it is perceived that **I** am the one causing it... (i.e., "If you'd just back off your boundary, then I can avoid my OWN pain.)
Seems a little screwy, doesn't it? And what do I do? Well, OF COURSE I'll back off my boundary... I'd hate to ever cause you or anyone pain or discomfort... HERE, let ME hurt FOR you... and in so doing, cripple them (and in the very long run) controll them (and they me) because I never insisted they carry their own [censored]... I set myself up as 'fix it' queen, and create a dynamic I JUST GOT OUT OF.
EWWWHHHHHHHHHHHH. Jesus.
"I am a cement wall, I am a cement wall, I am a cement wall.."
