I can understand the idea of not wanting to impose, especially given the potential of your H doing something stupid. But remember one of the talking points on the Self-Esteem Thread. Let people help you. It not only gives them warm fuzzies from doing something good, but makes them feel part of your life, connected to you, and thus can help boost your own self-esteem. That is of course unless the "friend" wanted you to feel indebted to them in some way, in which case they aren't really a friend. Just some food for thought. And I am serious about the church thing. You are in the South right? There should be churches nearby you can turn to for help. That is what they collect money from members for each week.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Chrissy: The cleaning idea is a good one. You might want to assume that you may never be allowed to go back into the house once you leave. I didn't make that assumption in my 1st marriage, and I still find myself thinking, "geeze, why didn't I grab my Beatles' White Album, or my favorite hammer, or my xyz." You might even put some stuff in boxes and mail it to a relative to hold for you, just in case. And don't assume that your kids can go into the house and get the stuff for you...it is wrong to ask them to do this.
Gawd...this sucks. I'm tearing up remembering how painful that time was in my life, and worrying about you and the added crap of potential violence.
You were thinking about me because you could sense I was eatting chocolate lol. M$M's and me are new best friends this week.
Jeez, more LFL-Chocolate references. You guys must think I'm obsessed Well, it tastes good darnit!! Mmmmm!! M&M's. They have all the new sizes now too! And the peanut butter filled ones. Danger! Could eat way too many of those. Need to keep them out of the house. I went three days without having any chocolate and broke down today and had a couple pieces of the kids Easter candy. I can rationalize that they are too young to possibly go through all of it themselves. So I really need to help them out and get rid of it before they rot their teeth away. H actually wants it gone too. He's worse than me sometimes. Would probably sit down and eat the whole basket full if the kids wouldn't cry about it. Lol
Chrissy, if you need anything financial I'm quite sure the combined resources of this board could help you out. I am quite serious. Let us know and we'll take care of what needs to be taken care of. Your insights have been invaluable to me in my R. Please let me know if you need anything.
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
I finally broke down and told the H I was looking for a apartment. I explained to him again that I was done having sex for just the pure physical release of it. That there is so many different things missing in our relationship that there is no emotional connection for me.And that I was tired of feeling like I am being unfair to him. Yes this was promped by another eposide of me having to turn him down. And just feeling shitty about rejecting him all the time because of it.
Well H did not react. I am sure he is reeling right now. And all hell will break lose after he has a chance to think about things. Sadly what little he did say indicated he thinks this is all about sex and me not wanting to have it so I am gonna leave.
I tell you I just feel terrible for him. Me I am okay I have actually felt better these last few days. Okay well I am neverous a little right now and feeling shitty about hurting him but in general I have been feeling better. Not as down. Still sleeping to much but trying to cut back on my sleeping meds at night and get into a better sleeping habit.
Anyhow I know I said I was not going to tell him ahead of time but I just felt like I was being so unfair to him. So I did now lets see how bad it gets lol.
I can rationalize that they are too young to possibly go through all of it themselves. So I really need to help them out and get rid of it before they rot their teeth away. 
