You have stated that you feel like you need your H to really back off sexually in order for you to stop feeling so reflexively negative about his attempts to initiate
Not about his attempts to initiate. It was what I thought would be something that would help me work through my negative feelings towards him and to help us build a real relationship not just a sex based one. And to force his hand in finally waking up to see our marriage as a whole sucks.
Since, HD folks tend to link feelings of love with feelings of desire, suppressing feelings of desire leads to suppression of feelings of love
I don't think this is to different for a LD person. Hence LD in alot of cases are a effect and the relationship is the cause.
In my case I wanted to get to a good place within my self concerning my H by building a better relationship one that contains the elements it lacks that makes the relationship lacking to me. Friendship/compatability/common goals/communications/respect. My thought process was if we could work on these elements the desire and meaningfulness of sex would follow. As it is without these elements I have no desire for the H. And the relationship makes me sad.
Since we all have the desire to be loved for who we are in entirety including our sexual nature and since nobody likes to think of their sexuality as being bad, a HD person like me who is feeling self-confident and generally in control of her emotional state and behavior will not long remain happy under these circumstances
Just as a LD person wants to feel loved and will not remain happy under the circumstances if other then sexually there mate does not seem to be interested in all of them.
it is also true that if my H doesn't figure out how to appreciate and respond positively to my sexual nature and needs, I will probably choose to leave this relationship.
As is if my H has not learned to appreciate and respond positively to my individual nature and emotional needs I am choosing to leave these relationship.
There is a post of yours on another thread that I am going to pull over and respond to here as soon as I get the chance.
