I congratulate you on talking honestly with your H. I think the most honest ex-H and I ever were was during our separation. We had been together about 14 years, married 11. He was very sad during that time, very contrite and very confused. He didn't comprehend how I could "just be done." That situation wasn't fixable. After a flurry of change on his part he reverted to exactly the same guy he always was and has remained so for the last five years. Nevertheless, that brief period of honesty was part of what allowed me to heal from that R and is one of the reasons that I am not angry and bitter now. My point for you? Regardless of the ultimate end of this R your honesty is a good thing. You and your H may ride off into the sunset in the happy haze of a reinvigorated R. Can you envision that? Or you may shake hands, be glad for the happy times and go off into the sunset on separate horses? Is that easier to see? For either of these outcomes, some gut wrenching honesty and discussion has to happen. The scenario of continuing to live together, miserably or parting in a blaze of anger and continued enmity isn't worth sparing feelings in the short term.
