Thank you for sharing your emotions and opinions, as well as your pain.
My H told me because I noticed that something was different. He started to avoid inimacy, etc. One night we were going to bed and I was trying to talk to him. Normally he is there--listening. That night he just tried to rush me to turn the lights off and go to sleep. I started to press and finally asked him if he was unfaithful to me. That is the reason he told me. But I also know that he would have been able to hide it for much longer, because our whole marriage was based on trust and he knew that I require complete honesty.
He told me it was a one time thing with a prostitute--but that does not make things better or easier. First I was just in pain and shock. Then, I was trying to numb myself not to feel. Now I am simply mad. If I were to make a decision today I would hurt him physically and make him leave.
I don't think that I am lucky that he is remorseful--it is too late to feel bad for what he did to me and to us. He should have felt this way before this happened that way I would not be faced with a decision.
As of now, I told him that while I am trying to sort things out, I will see how he will show me that he is changing things and taking responsibility. He asked me to go to counseling with him, to which I agreed only becuase I want to see how persistant he is going to be on fixing this and how serious he is about making our marriage work. Meanwhile I am still contemlating. And I am very angry this week, especially today on our anniversary.
If I decide to leave I know that it is going to be painful, but I know that it will be even more painful to stay, because if I stay I will need to forgive him, but now I do not feel like forgiving or even trying to start on healing.
